I loved him. More than myself. That was my biggest mistake.
― Hedonist Poet (via hedonistpoet)
Before even coming to California to pursue art, and becoming a fashion design major, I had great uncertainty about whether this was the right thing to go into. I kept thinking to myself is this what God wanted me to do. I put the fears behind me and moved out here to feel sen more skeptical about this decision. It feels right but so wrong, and a part of me feels like I just went with my instinct instead of what I was really being pointed at. I asked what the plan was but never opened my mind up to the options, and now i’m sitting here, trying to get myself to do homework but only coming to think if this is what I’m supposed to be doing, if this is what I’m supposed be pursuing. I thought this experience would be fun, a dallas girl moving to LA to major in fashion design, that’s literally every girls dream but is it really mine…I thought majoring in art would make me happy but ever since i’ve moved here I haven’t felt happiness. All i feel is fear and confusion, the answers are still unclear, my thoughts are unclear, and my dreams are unclear. I pray that God may help me see what’s right and what’s wrong, and shows me his way.
I want the part of you that you refuse to give to anyone.